Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
