You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
