I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
