Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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