if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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