this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
