At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You dont lie about slip and slides
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
