So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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