How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
