the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
