i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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