i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just want to make out with him forever
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
