Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
