I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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