i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
i think my cat just said my name.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
