Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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