that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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