Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
