This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
