i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
