Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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