how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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