So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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