I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
