they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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