Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
