I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
