i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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