I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
