You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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