he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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