You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
