He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
