wat bout pragnant strippers??
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
