my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
