ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
