But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
