everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
