Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
