But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
