I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
