need another drink. this is the easiest way
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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