I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
