I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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