it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize