I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
