I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
