Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
So vagazzling was a success
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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