Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
