i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
