I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
