So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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