Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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