Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
