Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
