wakey wakey hands off snakey
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
