Whod you bang
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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